Let's Makes Craft-siz

Ben is a funny child and always marches to his own drum. He often seems like a late bloomer in one area, but will master a skill truly overnight.

We have had an art-filled summer. Almost everyday, both children draw, paint, cut and generally make "craft-siz".

Most of the summer Ben has just been painting coloring pages with broad strokes with a color he likes or filling page after page with these funny little shapes.

Every inch of the paper must be covered!

He created dozens of these shape pages and then, the very next day he drew this. A rabbit holding a carrot in a forest. (His words not mine.) And here's a big box of apples and carrots to share with his friends. 

The rabbit is standing in deep deep grass,
but it's not done yet.

Huh?

You can draw actual pictures?

Of actual things?

So what's with all the shapes?

Then he drew this little treasure. It's titled Daddy at the Beach. I hope you can see Chuck's serious face and the sun blazing in top left corner.

It looks like Chuck is having a super time.

Ben is such a serious person, I wonder if these non-smiling straight-lipped pictures give a glimpse into how he feels. I hope not.

Last we did some finger painting. We mixed colors and made lots and lots of pictures. I drew a kitty and Susanna said, "Ooohhh a piggy!" That masterpiece is safely filed in the recycle bin. 

Ben drew his name, a butterfly, and more shapes :)

I want to figure out a way to put this in his room.

He made lot of cool "craft-siz" at Vacation Church School and one matched our living room so well we hung it up. I will have to take a picture and update this post. I promise to do that soon.

This is a canvas. Ben painted the colors - they could paint
anything they wanted. And Michelle, our VCS
Art Teacher, stenciled the scripture. 

First Soccer Practice

Even though it was a mild winter, it still seems like we've been waiting for spring forever! That's partly because three-year-olds have no concept of time.

We went to the very last Royals home game of the season last year - September 21st - and Ben has asked, "Yet go Ro-Ro game one more time," almost every single day since.

• He wrote a song. "One, two, bee. One, two, bee. Yet go Ro-Ro game."
• He asks if "Ro-Ro Stadium" is open every Wednesday when we pass it on our way to NAET treatments.
• He was briefly deterred by Christmas, but then my dad bought partial season tickets and rekindled both Chuck and Ben's excitement.
• Then Chuck told him spring training started. Sigh.

We decided to venture into league athletics, and basically started the same process with soccer.

• We decided to sign up with friends. "Where we going, Mama? Play soccer Ryder Weston?"
• We saw cousin Chaise play at the Independence Events Center. "Bean play?"
• I forgot to mail our check in, so Ben and I dropped it off the very last day. "Bean play soccer?"
• We went to buy cleats, shin guards and socks. "Bean play soccer?"

Today was FINALLY the day. He got up from his nap and got ready for soccey game!

The Cheetahs. Roar!

 

Ben waiting his turn.

 

Goal!

 

This is how Susanna spent the evening.

 

Ben sad his soccer practice is over.

 

In fact, he was so sad, he's currently sleeping with his new soccer ball. Here's to a fun season! Let's go Cheetahs!

 

 

The Beginning of the End

Today I took Ben to a preschool screening and found out that he qualifies for speech therapy. I can't say that I'm surprised. Yesterday a two-year-old told Ben, "It's not a taw-wee; it's a tower." But I am a little disappointed.

I'm not upset that my son needs extra help and I don't feel like we have a negative label, but I like his funny little words and I'm not ready to let go of them. (I know, this is super-selfish.) But once they're gone, they're gone forever and that makes me sad.

Even without speech therapy, I've known this day was coming. Lately, Ben's been calling himself "Bun." I laughed at first, mostly because he yelled it when he was crying, "Waaahhh! Bun!!"

 

Secondly, what's up with the food theme?

1. Bun
2. Bean
3. Beany Coco Chicky Nono

At first I thought Ben simply couldn't pronounce his name and that he's lucky his name isn't "Gabriel" or "Alexander." But it turns out that "Bun" is just a stepping stone to actually saying "Ben". Shortly after "Bun" showed up, he started saying "Ben" once or twice a day and I know it's just a matter of time before the "Bens" outnumber the "Beans". Then one day he'll just stop saying it altogether.

I won't even get a heads up to treasure the last time I hear his little voice call himself "Bean". We'll just realize that he hasn't said it in a couple of days, then it'll set in that he's growing up and out of that phase and I'll probably have an irrational meltdown.

I know I'm being silly, but I love his voice and language. It's a funny mix because he's so sure of himself and speaks with such conviction, but he's usually talking crazy.

Here are some "Bean" Examples:

1. Bean do it. (I hear this 50 times a day regarding anything from making coffee to putting on his shoes.)
2. Bean do it all Bean-self. (You get this little gem if you insist on doing something he said he wants to do.)
3. Bean need my work. (Work is pronounced "whork" and it's a little spiral-bound book in which he makes tiny squiggles with a Mickey Mouse pen.)
4. No kiss Bean! (I should know better at this point, but I don't.)
5. Bany (Brandy) licking Bean chair! (Well, you're the one who let's 30 percent of the food that touches your lips fall to the floor.)
6. Watch this Mama, 'Beany Coco Chicky Nono.' (Did you give yourself a nickname? Yeah. It's kind-of long, but I like it.)
7. Change Bean diapy. (We just sat on the potty!)
8. Bean all done. (Wait Benny. Please just try to go pee pee. I know you can do it. No! Bean all done!!)
9. Bean! (Usually used when he's picked up against his will.)
10. Watch this Mama, Bean touching my pee pee. (Uh... ok.)

"Mama, you need come in my op-ip."

 Beany Coco Chicky Nono, please don't grow up too quickly.

Humans vs Apes

I went to a Nursing Support Group today (Yes, I realize how lame that sounds, but it's totally necessary and actually fun.) and one new mommy was talking about her colicky baby. Nothing was working for her: nursing, swaddling, the swing...

My heart went out to her as Ben was a super colicky babe. There were nights when all three of us were crying :(

In any case, the lactation consultant suggested "wearing the baby". Put that fussy babe in a sling on your chest and move about your day. Then she said something that got me thinking, "Humans are the only mammals that put their babies away."

I think she was suggesting that lower primates - or even marsupials - have it right constantly carrying their babies. But as I think about it:

1. I don't have a pocket on my belly and
2. Really it's the babies that have super skills, not the mommies.



I don't know about anyone else, but my babies
can't cling to my body hair while I scale a tree.

Susanna is still a helpless little lump and Ben alternates between flailing wildly (No diapy change!) and being dead weight (No nap!). He uses whatever suits his current need.

Susanna being lumpy.

In general, childcare for other mammals seems easier. Bears "deliver" their babies while they're hibernating. Baby bears (weighing less than a pound BTW) basically walk out of their mother's womb and start nursing. Mama bears don't even wake up.

My experience has been, um... different.

1. Although at times I wished I wasn't, I was awake for both deliveries.
2. We'll skip the details, but both times it took an entire team of people to yank my children out of my body.
3. Both Ben and Susanna were confused about nursing. (They are definitely not taking care of business on their own while I sleep). Ben chomped frantically like Pac-Man and Susanna coils and then strikes like a blind snake. Both tactics are as painful as they are counterproductive.

I don't want to feel subpar to an orangutan just because I like to "go to the bathroom by myself" or "need both hands to eat a ham sammich". So, I tried to think of at least one mammal who isn't winning Mom of the Year.

And I found her. In 2005, Brandy had her first and only litter of puppies. She delivered 10 black lab puppies and, in general, was a caring and attentive mom. But she was always anxious to take a break. Whenever we came in the room, she'd get up and leave.

If she was a person, she would have said, "Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Do you mind watching the babies, while I run to the bathroom?" A half hour later you'd find her smoking a cigarette on the back porch.

I can safely say, I'm not sneaking smokes out back so take that other mammals - I win!

How To Ruin Your Baby In One Simple Step

We've only had Susanna for two weeks, and only had her at home for a week and a half, but never fear, we've successfully ruined her.

She was born sleeping through anything. I attribute her chill attitude to her abusive gestation. Seriously, Ben played the snare drum at top volume at my belly every single day. I actually had to wake her up to feed her and even then I'd have to poke her awake, change her diaper or even give her a bath to get her up for any length of time.

But that all changed with one innocent move. And here it is:

Chuck ruining Susanna.

Yes, that's Chuck and baby Susanna sleeping and snuggling on the couch. There is almost nothing better than snuggling a newborn baby. So one evening after I fed Susanna and she was still in-and-out of sleep, I said to Chuck, "Do you want to snuggle her while she falls asleep?"

And that was the beginning of the end. That night, I could not get her back in her bassinet for anything. She'd nurse and nod off. Then I'd lay her down and she'd pop up. I'd start all over and she'd pop up again. At one point I'd been up for two hours and was still failing at getting this baby safely back in her own bed.

For those who don't know, pediatricians suggest having babies sleep on their backs on a firm mattress with only a fitted sheet. No inclines, loose blankets, pillows, stuffed animals or any other comforts that babies (and normal people) like.

So at this point, I'm debating options trying to decide which is the least dangerous:

1. Walk, bounce and possibly drop the baby. I am only 5' 2", but that still a long fall for someone only 19 inches long.
2. I could put her in bed with us. (Both my children LOVE our pillow top mattress - you can literally lay them down wide awake and they will go to sleep on our bed. I have seen both of them fall asleep while I went to get a diaper.) But at this point I'm extra sleepy and don't trust myself not to roll on her. Nor do I trust Chuck, whose name I've been hollering for the last half hour only to be answered by snorts. 
3. I could try to put her in the bouncy chair, which she sometimes sleeps in during the day. The tricky part of this is deciding how to strap her in as she likes to wiggle out. Ben used to sleep in this chair and one extra-foggy morning I panicked because he wasn't in his chair - he was on the floor in front of it. 

See, I am a poor decision maker in the middle of the night and an even worse parent. In the end, I went with the chair and luckily come daybreak (approximately half an hour later) Susanna was still safely strapped in.

In the light of day, I have made her bassinet only moderately dangerous. I put a fluffy blanket in the bottom, but put a tight blanket over the top so it's still smooth, just softer. When she starts rolling, we're going to have to switch to the swing.

Only slightly dangerous sleeping accommodations.

On a side note, I told Ben, "Benny, we ruined your sister and we've only had her a week! Are you ruined?"

Sitting in our bed at approximately 6:22 am, with his legs under the covers and his little hands propping his head up on Chuck's pillow, he said, "Yeah!"

He's probably right.

Here are some shots of our bed at 6:30 this morning. Chuck and I were getting ready for the day and these two were snoozing/watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse happily after sneaking in our bed. They are such pills, but I guess we only have ourselves to blame.

They totally kicked us out of our own bed.

Ben looking happy that he's ruined.



Susanna was sitting up talking with us... for about
2.5 minutes. Then she fell asleep in this super
dangerous position. Don't get used to this sweetheart,
this is how babies die and we're not taking chances.



Learning How To Be A Boy

This seems like something that should be instinctual (tooting/sword fighting/scratching), but apparently it isn't.

I remember reading in Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson that boys identify with a male role model at several developmental stages - the first was as early as 18 months. He said that boys actually have to learn to how be men and that their role model defines masculine behavior for them.

In the last month or two, it seems as though Ben is going through one of these stages. He has really attached himself to Chuck and has kind of become his shadow. If watching Chuck tells Ben what men are supposed to do, then Ben is currently learning that men mow the grass and wash cars.

This spring, Ben has been standing at the window while Chuck mows. He watches him mow the entire yard. I'm talking standing at a window, watching someone walk back and forth, mowing for a solid hour. I would consider this torture, and can't believe this is the same kid who thinks it takes too long to put pants on before going outside to play.

Chuck said I could let Ben outside while he was mowing. (I don't know why I didn't before. Maybe I thought he'd bark and bite at the mower.) Ben was in heaven. He marched proudly right behind Chuck, walking in perfectly straight little lines, going all the way to the fence before turning. Then he got his toy mower and just followed after Dad shouting.


Bean mow! Daddy MOW!

 When we tell him the yard looks nice, he says, "Yeah! Bean mow!"

Chuck is being so sweet and supportive with the birth of our daughter and has taken two weeks off. He's spending a lot of quality time with Ben and trying to get a few little extras done around the house - specifically, giving the cars a thorough cleaning.

Yesterday, he and Ben cleaned his car:

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The tricky part is knowing when to stop washing. Chuck is very particular about water spots, in fact, you could say that water spots are his arch enemy. So, he towel dries the car after washing it. I watched him feverishly drying the driver's side as Ben "rewashed" the passenger side he'd just dried.

Toddlers need really clear instructions, "Now it's time to dry the car. Here's a towel. You do it." They also need water confiscated.

In any case, it looks like Ben is well on his way to learning the ins-and-outs of being a boy... or at least outdoor chores.

Welcome Susanna June

Although it took us nine months of gestation and 24 hours of looking at her, we finally named our sweet baby girl. Welcome to our family Susanna June!

We scheduled a c-section for May 5th (you're welcome SG - that was just for you) with the doctor who delivered Ben. Dr. Caffrey is a kind surgeon who joked about finding his watch and asked me if I wanted him to "just go ahead and put in a zipper this time."

At 12:04 pm, Dr. Caffrey showed us this:

Our first look at our sweet baby.

Baby Girl Enderle was 6lbs 5oz and had a full head of red hair!? Her hair wasn't the only surprise. I really expected this baby to look like me. Ben looks so much like Chuck, I thought surely this baby would be mine. After all, I just carried her around for nine months, but more than anyone else, she looks like Benny. Sigh.

Newborn Ben

She does have my ears, hands and dimple and we'll see how she changes as she grows. But I still feel a little robbed doing all this work to have have my babies look like Chuck.

I really had pictured our daughter being a dark-haired pixie and secretly thought Norah was going to make the final cut. As a reminder, it was down to two choices:

• Norah Ann (using my middle name)
• Susanna June (named after both my mom and Chuck's mom)

... and a late favorite:

• Pippa Anne (Yes, this was inspired by Kate Middleton's little sister.)

But the red hair threw us for a loop and we ended up choosing Susanna June for the following reasons:

1. Chuck said he simply couldn't imagine calling a little baby Norah. He said it was too grown up. I can see that.
2. Our sweet baby was born on the same day Chuck's grandma, Donna June, passed away two years ago. Donna loved children and we feel it's a sweet tribute to her to name our baby girl after her.
3. Just in case this is my only daughter, I want to honor my mother and my best friend.

Gammy Susan, Susanna, Mama.

So, our baby girl is Susanna June, named after three amazing women who have spent their lives teaching children about Jesus. My prayer for my sweet Susanna is that she will have the same heart for Jesus as her namesakes and spend her life investing in others the way these remarkable women have.

So far, she is a sweet cuddly delightful little baby.

I have lost my mind and like to coordinate hair bows
with hospital gowns... and Chuck puts bows on
like an athlete might wear a sweatband.

I don't think Ben realizes that we are going to keep this baby. When I tried to get him to hold her, he said, "No baby!" I still think he'll be a great big brother.

Ben and baby sister, Susanna.

In any case, I am excited to go home. I miss my Benny Bean and am ready to be home as a family of four.

Our first family pic. Ben says, "Cheeeese!"

Inappropriate Responses

I love hearing Ben's words and finally knowing what's going on in his mind. However, at two, he's still far from mastering the ins and outs of acceptable conversation.

Every night we have a little family worship. By that, I mean we read one or two scripture verses and pray as a family. By pray as a family, I mean Chuck or I pray while Ben either rolls around like a pig in the mud or plays his snare drum. (Although, sometimes he prays and that basically includes listing his grandparents and my mom's dog.)

To keep him engaged, I ask him to find letters that he recognizes in the scriptures and then read the sentence containing the letter. He likes to pick out: B, I, O, and T.

Tonight, he found a B and I read the first line of Psalm 128, "Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways."

Ben said, "Oh-kay, " as if he didn't believe what he was hearing. It was low, sarcastic, and basically the same way I say okay when he insists on doing something that's going to make a huge mess. It's kind of like, "You're going to carry that full watering can from the kitchen, through our living room and out the front door without spilling it? Oh-kay."

I wanted to say, "No, that's really true. People who fear the Lord really are blessed," but it seems a bit early for that lesson. Thankfully, our Heavenly Father loves children and I'm sure he knows Ben's heart and enjoys these funny little "missteps" as much as we do.

And this is not Ben's only conversational misstep. Here are several examples:

1. Someone sneezes. He also sneezes. No amount of me saying, "Benny, when someone sneezes, we say 'Bless you,'" seems to reach him. He continues to mock those suffering from seasonal allergies.

2. Saying "I love you": Often a grandparent will say, "Ben, I love you." And he'll respond, "Yeah!" It sounds like, "Yeah I know, what else is new?"

3. "Yah, I do." You have to say this the way Arnold Schwarzenegger would say it and Ben says it for everything. He and Evie were playing and I asked them, "Are you guys friends?"

In her little singsong voice, Evie said perfectly, "Ben's my friend." 

Ben shouted, "Yah, I do!"

I really feel like raising a child is sort of like domesticating a raccoon. (Maybe it's just Ben.) I'm going to continue to try to teach Ben appropriate responses. In the mean time, please don't hold his words against me.

Your Baby Can Read?

An old picture, but one that shows how much Ben
loves Evie. He asks to see her weekly. It sounds like,
"E-He Houk? E-He Houk?" That means, "Hey
Mom, can I play with Evie at her house today?"

Ben may or may not have read his first word today. We went to Toddler Time at the Mid-Continent Library and Benny picked out Evie's name tag. Twice.

Side Note: This is a favorite Thursday activity with Miss Jean whom Ben simply calls "Jean". It seems kind of rude when he marches up to her, hands her a book to check out and says, "Here Jean." Luckily, she is a true librarian and simply thrilled that kids want to check out books. She probably wouldn't care if he called her "Jim".

In any case, the library provides apple-shaped name tags for the kids to wear. During class, a teacher comes around and gives each child in attendance a sticker for their name tag. Last week, Ben got apples and Evie received strawberries. Then they both examined the other's tag.

This week, Evie wasn't there, but Ben went up to the table with approximately 15 unclaimed name tags, picked up Evie's and said, "E-He."

I brushed it off, "Yeah, good guess that is Evie's name tag."

Then he did it again. I asked him, "How do you know that's Evie's name tag?"

Of course he didn't answer me. I'm sure partly on principle (It's not cool to answer your mom's questions - just ask Dad.) and partly because he can't.

Seriously, he calls Evie "E-He". And this is an improvement. I'm just grateful he stopped calling her "Wee Wee". People would ask, "What did he say?"

"Ha ha. I'm not sure. I didn't hear him." All the while I'm thinking: Please don't say that again, because BTW, you also call your business 'wee wee'.

I'm not sure if he recognized the letters, the strawberry sticker or the combination, but something looked familiar and he knew it belonged to his friend. So, Congratulations Benny! You read your first word today! It seems appropriate that you did it at the library - Miss Jean will be thrilled.

Update: It's come to my attention, that I should include the rest of the this story. To test Ben, I took two index cards and wrote his name on one and Evie's on the other. I handed him Evie's and asked him to read it. He studied the card carefully, furrowed his brow and said, "Uhhh... licka, licka, licka, licka."

I think that means he cannot "read". However, he's starting to recognize words he's seen before. He keeps bringing me these cards saying, "E-He. Bean!"

Bubble Boy

In order to share this story, I have to admit to my extreme negligence as a parent. Please overlook it.

This evening Chuck was out running emergency errands - purchasing a new grill cover because ours is tattered and it will probably rain tonight. So bath time responsibility feel on me.

I started the water and began to undress and Ben, but realized I was super hot in my long-sleeved shirt and jeans so I went to change. (Just in case anyone missed it, this is the negligent part.)

Ben won't climb in the tub himself so I thought this would be a safe choice even with the water running. And if we were only concerned about drowning, it would have been. Little did I know that Benny had a secret plan and judging by the speed with which he executed it, this was a plan he'd been cooking for a while.

I came back - literally 30 seconds later - to find the bath tub completely pink and the previously half-full Lander's Kids Bubble Bath container essentially empty. This is a 64 ounces container. So, in the time it took me to put on a t-shirt, Ben unscrewed the lid and dumped approximately 30 fluid ounces of Silly Strawberry Bubble Bath into our tub.

Evidence

The extreme bubbles were already forming and within a minute they were cresting the top of the tub. At this point, we only had one choice: celebrate this extravagant bubble bath for the once-in-a-lifetime treasure it was.

I plopped Ben in the tub and we made bubble art:

Bubble Beard (I got one too, but wouldn't let Ben
operate the camera from the tub.)



Bubble Hats



Even a Bubble Mullet.



This was probably the best bath of Ben's life... until we couldn't get the bubbles off. We rinsed and rinsed and rinsed, but only made more bubbles. Finally, I had to take him to the sink and give him what Chuck calls "a whore's bath". He cried.

But I think if he had the chance again (which he won't - bubble bath is now considered toddler contraband), he'd take it.

Peas in a Pod

We have T-8 weeks until our baby girl is born and Chuck keeps asking me if I'm excited for my new best friend. I assume this is partly a jab at how much I love my mom, but I think he has sometimes felt a little left out because Ben was such a Mama's baby.

He always says that Ben is his best friend and I'm Ben's best friend. I try to remind him that we ought to be Ben's parents not his friends, but this point seems to fall on deaf ears. Plus, Ben is growing out of his Mama Phase and discovering how fun Dad can be.

Just in case Chuck ever starts reading my blog, here are my three examples of how similar they are and how much fun they have together.

Exhibit A - Extreme Sports:
After dinner I was washing the dishes listening to Ben and Chuck giggle in the living room. My heart was full and I was thinking, "Isn't that sweet, they're playing together and having so much fun." Then I turned around. I should have expected what I saw, but foolishly I didn't.

My six-foot tall husband was standing on the right arm of the couch and my two-year-old was was standing on the left. What I thought was a counting lesson, turned to horror before my eyes:

Together they said, "Three. Two. One. Blastoff!" And then they both fell face-first onto the cushions collapsing into giggles.

Chuck caught me looking at him and said, "It's ok, we're boys."

My mind was racing:

1. You are not a boy. You're 31 years old.
2. You're the DAD. You should be setting a good example, not teaching our child bigger and better ways to jump on the furniture.
3. This game looks like a head injury waiting to happen.

I nixed the criticism and decided to focus on what I wanted to happen - getting Ben and Chuck to play together appropriately. So I said, "I'm glad you guys are having so much fun and this is a very creative game, but instead of teaching Ben to jump on our furniture, why don't you take him downstairs and play with toys."

Chuck was happy to oblige. He said, "Come on Ben, let's go downstairs and play swords."

Sigh. Well, that's a little closer.

Side Note: I secretly want a video of this game, but feel like a hypocrite suggesting that they play it again.

Exhibit 2 - Super-Sonic Sense of Smell:
Chuck's habit of smelling his food before he eats it has long entertained me. Especially when we were first married he was discovering the wonderful world of vegetables.

Chuck: What is this?
Jackie: It's asparagus. Haven't you eaten asparagus before?
Chuck: No.... is it good?
Jackie: Well, I think so. I made it and I'm eating it.
Chuck: Hmmm.... Sniiiifffff.... (Biting.... chewing... ) Hmmm...

Ben smells his food too. He'll lean over his plate, inhale deeply and declare how icky something is. (Definitely developing a thicker skin about my cooking. It's hard to please a two-year-old).

But Ben smells more than just food. The other day at my parents' veterinary hospital, he picked up the end of the central vacuum and sniffed it. I truly thought I was going to throw up. I know what they suck up in that thing and it is gross. Think toe nails and  matted hair. Ew.

My mom was gut laughing, I was fighting back my breakfast.

Exhibit 3 - Preferred Sleeping Accommodations: 
To make room for the new baby, we moved Ben into what was our spare bedroom and moved him into a full bed. That's right we skipped the race car, toddler, and twin beds and went straight to a full. We made this decision because we already had a full-sized bed and didn't have any other place for it. It seemed silly to get rid of it, not have a place for company to sleep, and buy a toddler bed.

So we made it as toddler-friendly as possible. I asked Ben for about a week if he wanted to sleep in the big bed instead of the crib and at first he said no, but then he came around. On move day, we waved goodbye to the crib and carried all his little friends to the new bed. He climbed in and looked so happy.

We called Chuck up to see the new bed complete with Ben and he said, "Wow, that looks so comfy. I wish I could sleep in that bed."

Now, many people will think that Chuck was just saying that to make Ben feel like he's getting something really special, but he was completely serious. And every day for the last week, he's mentioned how he wants to sleep in that bed. In fact, the one morning Ben woke up super early (6:15 am) Chuck practically sprang out of bed and said, "I'll go lay with him and see if I can get him to go back to sleep."

In fairness, it does look pretty inviting.


Ben enjoying his new bed. Also a rare nap with pants.

 On a side note, Chuck keeps asking where Ben will sleep if his mom comes to town. I keep telling him, "With her." I bet they'd both love it.

So, Ben and Chuck, I'm glad you guys love each other so much and Chuck remember, you have a few more years where Ben thinks everything you do is amazing. Enjoy it.

How to Ruin Your Children

Many moms I know worry about "ruining" their children. They joke about starting a therapy fund and confess fears they probably haven't even shared with their husbands.

As friends, we reassure each other with comments like, "Oh, you're not bossy. You're efficient." or "So what if you're sometimes dramatic, you make life fun. Your kids know you love them and they're happy."

Most of the moms I've had these conversations with love their children fiercely and provide a constant home base of acceptance and security. Even adult children know that Mom's arms and ears are open if needed. These women are far from ruining their kids.

I however, am actually ruining Benjamin and here is the photographic evidence:


Ben being ruined.


That's right, Ben is roller skating... pantless. It's bad enough I let him roller skate every day like this is 1978, but letting him do it without pants is unconscionable. Adding insult to injury, instead of rectifying the situation (I'm totally capable of putting pants on him), I photograph him instead.

He's probably going to end up like this:

Ben's unavoidable future.

Ben decided he loved roller skating at SG's birthday party. He tore up the floor and even made it to the final round of the limbo. (I like to think his height advantage was offset by the fact that it was his first time skating.)

Ben's first time on skates.

He loved it so much, he found a picture of roller skates in a book (a funny Mickey Mouse book from the 80s book my mom gave to me) and said, "Bean keet! Bean keet!" probably 100 times. He'd pull out this book, shove his stockinged foot in my face and beg to skate.

So, one Saturday morning, I sent Ben and Chuck to Toys R Us with $100 in birthday/Christmas money. I gave Chuck a very detailed list of what he was supposed to buy:

1. Roller skates
2. T-ball tee
3. Sippy cups that look exactly like this (sent actual cup)

Chuck asked, "Do you want me to spend all the money?"

I resisted saying, "Please give me one example where I would say, "Chuck, it is imperative that you spend all of this money!"

Instead I respectfully said, "Well, there's no need to try to spend..."

"Ok, we'll spend ALL the money!" Sometimes I don't even know why I bother talking to Chuck, he's clearly not listening.

So off Chuck and Ben went to the toy store. I wish I could have seen them shopping. I imagine it included at least seven full laps of the store, Ben asking for things by picking them up and yelling, "Bean! Bean! Bean!" I also hope Ben called Chuck, "Daddy Chuck" which he sometimes does. I'm sure it took at least and hour and a half and was general chaos.

Then they came home with their loot: skates, a T-ball stand, hockey sticks and binkies... and Ben proceeds to ask to roller skate every moment of every day. At 6:15 in the morning, I get him out of his bed and he says, "Bean keet." When we're driving home, when I'm laying him down for a nap, when he wakes up from his nap. He wouldn't even take his skates off to eat dinner.

He always wants to skate and that's how this picture happened. Every single day, we have lunch and play for about 15 minutes while he poops. I take his pants off to change his diaper and leave them off for his nap. (I always ask and he always says, "Off.") Then he woke up, anxious to skate. Rather than wrestle him into pants, then shoes, then skates, I simply put his shoes and skates on.

And then I realized what I'd done.

Then I laughed at him.

Then I photographed him.

I wish I could say this is my only indiscretion, but it isn't. I am notorious for dressing Ben badly and then laughing at him. You can find evidence here.

So Benjamin, when you're older and reading this thinking, "This explains everything! Mom is the reason I (fill in whatever you'd like to blame on me here)," just know three things.

1. You're probably right. I did ruin you.
2. But I do love you very much.
3. And no, I did not start a therapy fund for you. You're on your own like the rest of us.

One, Two, Three...

Today is another red-letter day for Benny. He counted to nine all by himself without any help or prompting. Technically, he skipped four. We're not really sure what he "said". In fact, it honestly sounded more like a burp than a word, but he started back up with five and was really rolling by eight.

We celebrated and I tried to get him to call Mama Jack (what he's currently calling my mom) and say, "I counted to nine." He repeated the sentence once, but thereafter refused. Instead, he gave me that face that says, "I can't believe you are so lame." It's amazing how that expression is so instinctual.

Despite the face making, we're still proud of Ben's counting accomplishment and in Ben's own words, "Go Bean!"



This is a recent picture and another milestone. Ben put

his shoes on all by himself.



They may not be on the correct feet :)



We love you, Ben. You are a delightful person and we're so thankful God gave you to us.

The Big Reveal

I am a terrible blogger and a promise breaker. AA hit the nail on the head:

"Bean want Mama watty."

actually means...

"Ben wants Mama's water."

Why should he drink out of his cup when he could backwash in mine?

A Milestone for Ben

Today is a red-letter day. Ben said his first full sentence. I guess some of his two-word answers technically count as sentences and these two-word phrases are still entertaining.

He's recently added a couple more that I really enjoy:

1. No diapie - No diaper
2. No meat - I think this is self-explanitory.

But today Ben truly said an entire sentence with a subject, verb and object and here it is:

"Bean want Mama watty."

Would anyone like to guess what this means? I'll reveal the answer tomorrow.

No Gaga. Why Gaga?!

Ben uses this phrase often and most recently when we were picking up Gary from Farview (my parents' veterinary hospital) where he was staying while we were out of town.

I asked Ben, "Do you think we should pick up Gary and see Grammy Susan and Papa Jack?" (As a side note, I'm not sure why I ask Ben questions where his answers mean absolutely nothing. No matter what he says, we're going to pick up the cat, so why ask? I think I just want to see what he's thinking.)

In any case, you may have guessed he said no. Then when the building came into view, he began to cry, "No Gaga! Why Gaga?!?!"

I didn't know what to think. Does Ben really not want to take Gary home?

I guess I can see his point. Gary is sort of like Goldilocks - he's always the offending "somebody" who's been sleeping in someone else's bed or eating their porridge. Although he's the smallest member of the family, no one is exempt from his torment.

Somebody's Been Sitting in My Chair. Gary acts as Ben's little brother playing with his toys, looking at him, and generally bothering him. Gary lays on Ben's blanket, acts like Catzilla on his train table and basically ruins Ben's life the way little brothers everywhere ruin the lives of their older siblings.

Somebody's Been Eating My Porridge. Gary eats Chuck's food... almost daily. I think Chuck is an easy target because:

1. He often leaves food unattended. Chuck has no idea how many times I've saved a turkey sandwich abandoned on his desk from Gary's greedy clutches.
2. He's generally unaware of Gary's transgression for at least a minute giving Gary time to work. If I had a nickle for every time I've heard, "Gary! Stop eating my tacos!" I could probably buy at least two tacos... four if it's Tuesday.

Somebody's Been Sleeping in My Bed. Again, almost daily I see Gary sleeping on Brandy's dog bed and Brandy pacing uneasily. She shoots me glances that seem to say, "Can't you move that cat? Please!" I like to let the pets settle their own differences so I've never interfered hoping Brandy will work up the courage to put Gary in his place. She hasn't, instead she's taken to sleeping on my bed. Hmm, this plan seems to have backfired.

Gary doesn't bother me the way he bothers everyone else. He's usually as respectful as you can expect a house cat to be and affectionate to a fault. Nightly, he cuddles my face and head, licking my hair and purring in my ears.

However, last night he crossed a line. A line that should never be crossed and no matter how much I wish I could go back, I can't uncross this line.

I was sleeping peacefully (for once) and woke just slightly to roll over (you need to be semiconscious to haul this belly from one side to the other) when I felt something soft on my face. I opened my eyes to see Gary cradling my face in his little orange paw. He was staring into my eyes lovingly and then he did it. He closed his eyes and... licked my lips.

Ew! He put his gross little cat tongue on my lips. That stinkin' cat essentially kissed me on the lips. Looking back, I can see he was putting "the moves" on me, but having been married for five years (or simply being married to Chuck), I am out of practice when it comes to identifying moves.

I still think I might be sick and resent what I'm calling The Midnight Attack. All I can say is, "No Gaga! Why Gaga?!"

Cabin Fever

One of the only drawbacks to being a housewife is that, most of the time, you are expected to be in your house.

People who are creative might like this. They'd probably spend their days baking or painting. People who love cleaning might also like this - they'd have lots and lots of time to deep clean and organize closets and drawers.

But I don't really like cleaning and baking is fun unless you've got a toddler as your assistant.

Actually, from time to time, I give baking a good shot. I'm not sure if I'm optimistic (maybe this time will be different) or forgetful (oh, it wasn't that bad). In any case, I plunge head-first into a flour-covered disaster.

Today, we tried to make banana bread. Although we did wash our hands before starting, I still wouldn't suggest eating this bread for three reasons:

1. I gave Ben a bread pan to grease and halfway through the greasing, I saw him licking his pat of butter. But he did finish greasing his pan so good for him.
2. When I added salt to the dry ingredients, he added freshly cracked pepper batter. Inventive. 
3. The eggs were simply too mysteriously tempting. I wouldn't let him even touch one, so when I cracked the first egg and put the shell in the trash, I turned around to find Ben wrist-deep in yolk.

The bread itself turned out pretty good... so we gave it to Daddy.  Thankfully Chuck doesn't read this blog.

Covered in flour and proud of his loaf. The day we
actually get dressed, the pants only last an hour.

But one bad batch of banana bread is not going to cure our cabin fever. And over the last four weeks we've been home a lot so the fever is dangerously high. Ben had two different strains of the flu and this week all our play groups were canceled because of a measly negative wind chill.

However, Ben seems to be well-suited to being a shut-in. He doesn't seem to mind wearing the same pajamas for 48 hours straight. He also makes up lots of fun games like "Chase Gary with a Balloon" or "Run in a Circle Screaming". Here he is looking cleaner and less orphan-y than usual, but still wearing PJs.



Our house is cold so we stay bundled up -
kind of like we're camping but with TV.


Despite Ben's brave face, I can't take any more of this so I've created a Winter Survival Guide. This guide includes fun things to do over the next three months until we can safely go outside and play again. Playing outside is really the key to raising children and protecting your house.
Winter Survival Guide:

1. Music with Mar: A fun toddler play group where kids sing, dance and learn. Every Monday or Tuesday morning and a meer $6.00 per class.

2. Take Ben to his first movie: I think we'll see a matinee showing of Tangled, sneak in some allergy-friendly snacks and not worry if we have to leave early.

3. Fun Town Factory: This is actually a great little treasure right up the street. It's an arcade, with inflatables (bouncy houses), with a dance floor, with a pizza shop, with ice cream. Ben is drawn like a moth to a flame when they play Macarena, and the pizza is pretty good.

4. Toddler Time at the Library: The Mid Continent North Independence branch is newly remodeled and super fancy. They have a fun toddler class at 10:00 on Thursdays.

5. Tricycle races in Tiff's Basement: One friend has a large, unfinished basement. I'm trying to convince her we need to host trike races. She says it's currently too cold.

6. Play in the Snow? I have a lot of rules about weather. For example, I won't swim unless it's 90 degrees and I won't swim in a lake until July. Snow is no different, but there is a very slim margin of acceptable conditions. First, it must be above 20 degrees. Second, it must be sunny and third, there can be absolutely no wind. We have not yet met those conditions.

7. CoCo Key: An indoor water resort across from Arrowhead and Kauffman stadiums. We went last year and had a great time.

8. Fun Run / Tunnel Voyage: Two fun toddler options, but $7.00 - $9.00 per trip. We'll probably coordinate with a friend and only go once to each.

9: Kaleidoscope / Crafts: I think we're going to have to start doing stinkin' crafts. Although, I'm pretty sure Ben hates crafts almost as much as I do. He always says, "No Mama!" when I try to get him to color. If we make a special trip to Kaleidoscope, he may see other kids being crafty and be more likely to join in at home. We'll see how this goes.

10. Mavericks Hockey: We're going to take Ben to his first hockey game tomorrow. I hope he likes it.

11. Bowling: I might take Ben bowling. He liked it last summer and Summit Lanes has a Mom and Me class for $3.00/person.

12. Basketball / Aim Fire / General Horseplay: These are all games we play at home that involve throwing in the house. Again, the hardest part of being a housewife is actually being in the house.