At the time, I thought that set up was absurd. I even said, "In general, I don't think you should have a baby with someone you wouldn't leave the child with."
In theory, I still think that's a good rule of thumb. However, in practice, I'm starting to have my doubts and here's why.
Chuck has been helping with Ben in the morning so I can get to work on time (still struggling with that) and this morning he was brushing Ben's teeth - all 10 of them. So Chuck asks, nonchalantly, "Why do babies have separate toothpaste, can't they just use ours?"
I explained that babies and toddlers don't know not to swallow toothpaste and if swallowed, toothpaste can be toxic. After several minutes of arguing with me and finally conceding when I showed him the "Do Not Swallow" label on our toothpaste, he said, "Huh, I can't believe that. I've been swallowing toothpaste for years."
At that moment, the conversation with Livi two years earlier came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Then, other memories from the last year came back:
1. Tim asking me if my two-month-old liked Christmas ham.
2. Chuck's dad putting my four-month-old, who just learned to roll over but could not crawl or scoot, belly-down on a gymnastic balance beam and walking away.
3. Chuck letting Ben carry around a plugged-in and on electric heater.
It seems like men think babies are more capable than they are. It's almost like they believe babies are born and the next time you see them, they're eating ham and deciding the best spot for a space heater.
I still believe that you should never have a child with someone you wouldn't trust to raise that child, and I absolutely trust Ben with Chuck, but I'm beginning to see the appeal of a sitter. At least you could come home and find everything how you left it. On the other hand, that's why dads are fun, they let you do things Mom would never even consider.
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