Truth in Advertising

Dear Bank of America,

Your current online ads are terrifying and I respectfully request that you cease broadcasting them immediately. I'm sure you know I'm referring to the "You're Expecting... Twins" campaign for the Automated Savings Program. Scare tactics are rarely effective and often offensive and this campaign is no exception. Please stop torturing me, and countless other women, with your intrusive advertising.

Sincerely,
Angry about Ads

I'm sure it's my own fault for searching baby clothes online or worse, baby names. I love looking up name meanings and don't want to give up the hobby just because these stinkin' ads haunt me. Stupid psychographics!

This morning, I logged onto BOA online, when the infamous ad started rolling. It said, "You're Expecting."

And I thought, "I am?"

BOA: "... Twins"

Me: "What?! And how does Bank of America know that?"

Then I realized, Bank of America couldn't possibly know that and began feverishly counting up days. Whew. Safe.

BOA: "Save for the unexpected with our Automated Savings Program. Blah. Blah. Blah."

Why would Bank of America, my trusty online banking center that's always open and never lets me down, torment me like this?! Why would they resort to such sneaky scare tactics that form lumps in my throat, instead of inspire me to open an automated savings account?

Although, I do want to add to our family, it's a big decision and I'm not sure I'm ready. So, until I'm ready, please be nice BOA and knock off the scary, seemingly prophetic advertising.

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Girl?

Ben has developed a new phobia… girls. He’s especially fearful of baby girls who are trying to touch him.

Every morning when I drop him off, Evie sings, “Beh-en,” and tries to hug him. Ben responds by looking panicked and backing away slowly. Alternate means of defense include clutching his blanket and crying.

At first, I thought maybe he just isn’t into hugging right now, but I threw out that theory Sunday, when he acted similarly fearful of little Emma. Emma is 13 months old and enamored with hair. She toddled over to Ben and ran her hands through his luscious locks. Again, he looked panicked, cried and this time ran away. 

Seriously, what’s so scary about these lovely ladies? They’re beautiful, sweet little girls. This phobia is especially funny because, Ben is a pretty brave kid. He climbs on and off furniture that’s taller than him, he slides down big-kid slides with delight, runs straight up to almost any dog, but these gentle little girls, with their sweet smiles and sing-song voices, seem strike true terror in his heart. 

Last night one of Chuck’s friends from high school joined us for dinner and I told him about Ben’s girl-phobia. He laughed and said, “Well, I remember his dad being that way too.”

I’ve heard many stories about Chuck’s lack of girlfriends. Chas, Chuck's sister, to this day tells me, “I thought Chuckie was gay. He never had any girlfriends.”

She even made this comment on our wedding day. I thought, “That’s kind of weird, I was expecting, ‘Congratulations’ or ‘Welcome to the family’ but okay we’re going with… relief?”

I’m sure Ben will grow out of his fear of girls, probably before I’m ready for him to. And I’m equally sure he’ll be fearless when it comes to snakes and other creepy crawlies that terrify me.

I can imagine him stuffing frogs in his pockets – or worse my pockets – and wondering how cheerful little girls are so scary, but icky frogs are so intriguing. 

Homemade Spices and Such

I've recently came across a new homemade spice recipe that I'd like to share. It's simply called "Chicken Seasoning". It's from The Grocery Shrink blog and part of a delicious tuna noodle casserole recipe.

Chicken Seasoning:
3 Tbsp onion powder
3 Tbsp salt
1.5 Tbsp basil
1 Tbsp garlic powder
1 tsp oregano

Mix well and it makes a tastey seasoning salt for chicken, veggies or fish.

This find reminded me of my Papa John's "Magic Cajun Seasoning". Long before Emeril created his Essence, my grandfather created this combination. This is great on steak, brisket, porkloin, or even chicken. Compare it to Lawerys, but with more kick... and better... and less expensive.

Magic Cajun Seasoning:
1/3 cup salt
1/4 cup garlic powder
1/4 cup ground black pepper
1/3 cup paprika
3 Tbsp onion powder
2 Tbsp thyme
2 Tbsp oregano

Warning: It makes a bunch, because everything Papa John did was big. That was part of his charm and probably why we miss him so much. He was larger-than-life and left a big hole. Thankfully, he shared his recipes with me, some of them handed down from great-grandparents in Sicily, and I can keep a little piece of him and my heritage.

Just to have a reason to mix these spices up, here's a recipe that can use one or both.

Roticerie Chicken in the Crockpot::
1 whole chicken
3-4 Tbsp of Chicken Seasoning or Magic Cajun Seasoning (or both)
1 onion
2-3 cloves of garlic
Aluminum foil

Wash and pat the chicken dry inside and out. Cut onion into quarters and garlic cloves in half and stuff the chicken. Sprinkle generous helpings of your preferred seasoning (or both) to coat the chicken.

Role aluminum foil into approximately six golfball-sized balls and place in the bottom of the crock pot. Place chick on top of foil balls breast up and cook on low for eight hours. The chicken will come out fall-off-the-bone-tender and the skin will be brown and crispy, like it was roticerie roasted.

I'm currently looking for something reusable to replace the foil, like ceramic ramikins or a small muffin pan. Let me know if you find something that works.

This is a budget-friendly meal as you can usually find whole chickens for $0.79 - $1.59/lb. every day at any grocery store. If you have a smaller family, debone the chicken and freeze some of it for enchiladas or quesidillas.