Hmmm.... What to Wear?

Today is a red-letter day for Susanna. She picked out her clothes for the first time. Whoo hoo!

I pulled a pair of purple shorts out of her drawer and she grabbed them out of my hand and threw them back. Then she dive-bombed for a white tank with fruit artwork.

I asked her, "Do you want to wear this today?" And she clutched the tank grinning. I took that as a yes and off we went.

Great choice Susanna. You are adorable. 

I'm equal parts proud and scared. I love how confident she is and how much she knows her own mind. She never second guesses a decision and it's fun to be around a person like that.

However, she never second guesses a decision, even if Mommy says no. I know it's just a matter of time before we have some true battles of will. I just hope I'm tougher than she is. Sometimes I'm not sure.

Happy Mother's Day

This was my first Mother's Day without my mom. I found myself thinking about her all day.

I bought my mom a Mother's Day card when I picked one up for Barbra and Wilma, Chuck's mom and grandma. Then I sat down and wrote her a letter. I have resisted "writing" to my mom so far. Even though there are things I want to say, actually writing seems pointless.

But on Sunday, I poured my heart out and it felt healing. I asked her forgiveness. I told her how much Susanna reminds me of her (I wish so badly they could be together - I know they would be best friends). I told her how much we all still miss her. Finally, I asked her to pray for us.

Then I asked my family to visit her grave on Mother's Day and they lovingly agreed. I'm drawn to her grave and sometimes take the kids. They recognize it and make themselves at home running/crawling around, but it never feels like home to me. I'm looking for my mom and it just doesn't feel like she's there. Still it's nice to have a place to look.

Ben and Susanna visiting Grammy's grave.

Even though it feels as though she left 30 years too soon, I'm so thankful for the 30 years I had with my mom. I'm so thankful for her love, guidance, generosity and instruction. I'm thankful for the fun and friendship we shared. Her faith and vibrant testimony still seems to be shining, and I'm mostly thankful for that.

Mama, I love you. I miss you. "Till we meet again... at Jesus' feet."

Proverbs 31:10 & 28-31
10) Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 
28) Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 
29) Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 
30) Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31) Give her the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.