My Arch Nemesis

Get a good look at this face. Memorize his orange stripes, his white whiskers, the blank look in his eyes. This cat is my new nemesis. 

Nemesis. Arch Nemesis.

He's not my nemesis because he's a little bit dumb and mildly irritating:

1. He chases his tail like a lab puppy and then jumps when he catches it.
2. He chews up cardboard boxes leaving tiny cardboard snowflakes littering my floors.
3. He eats food off the table.

Clearly guilty.


He's my nemesis because, today, he licked my baby girl's hair. My greatest fear has come true. That stupid cat, who attacks my hair nightly - the same cat who makes me sleep in a stocking cap like I'm eternally camping - has set his sights on my sweet baby girl.

Susanna sleeping peacefully, back when Gary was still
boarding and her hair was still safe.  

Heed my warning Gary, if you destroy Susanna's hair, I will destroy you.